Keeping this up has taken a back seat... or more acurately its been in a coma for over a year, shot in the head and left for dead at the side of the road... What is going on? I sit blogging thinking about a review I'm going to have with my Sales director. I work for an IT Sales company. Been there for over 11 months... I rose from telemarketer to team leader to overworked blackberry baring member of the London Rat Race. I listen to Swedish House Mafia as I write and it gets me in the right mood. I get on a tube everyday at about 8am and ride for 35mins before getting off near the Gerkin and entering the cheapest building in the Square Mile. I sell ideas to people. Our products are good. Our products are better than everyone else's, our way of doing things will save you money and your emplyees will do their job better meaning you may make more money along the way. We pitch, we speak, we talk, we liaise, we get food, drink and thinking about technology that makes the beating heart of every industry in the UK thrive... we drive the economy, we dig into tales of the future where data will become more common place than paper. In most aspects it already is. I dress it up as sexy, I dress it down as practical, I inspire a team of guys to get on the phone and pretend to think their job is important... or worse that it doesn't hang in a momentary balance of being lost if you don't hit the mark. They love me, I love them as much as I need to, its quite manipulative, I'm not there to be liked but I am, everyone hits their target with me and I am constantly interviewing the freaks of this world either face to face or more recently on the phone so I don't waste any more of my time. I've enjoyed it but lost the will to do the other.... The other is the film making.... I've managed to move flat with some major complications.... I've managed to get a car, although this was given to me by my parents who still subsidise a small part of my life (this annoys me greatly). I haven't managed to pay of any debts, I haven't managed to write any more short films, I haven't managed to engage in any further extra curricular activities to make my dreams happen other than get a job that could earn me in excess of £100K in 5 years time. I've had to learn more than I've ever learned before, I even have to teach and keep the status quo between many departments and people who are far more self important than they should or deserve to be, they're not exactly saving the world or finding the cure to cancer. They are arrogant, single minded and a little treacherous. I fit in well.... I love what I'm doing, I love having the experiences of working like I'm constantly on an episode of the Apprentice... I wear a suit everyday apart from Fridays when its our dress down day. I sell the job and my place in the company to everyone around me. I constantly sell my worth through e-mails and words to everyone around me, I make it known that I am the best for the job and they can see the return on their investment in me. I've gotten back into drinking. I've gotten a team of guys I call friends and the line between being their boss and their friend becomes more and more blurred. I've paid for less drink than I drank by some considerable margin.... expense accounts are signed off, salesmen aren't trusted and everyone takes advantage of the money that flows through the company. £20M turnover per year. The parent company is turning over £100M oer year. I've learnt words like Run-Rate, Telephony and Topology. I understand how a Storage Area Network is virtualised and how it works. I understand things like load-balancing, throughput and latency. I know the difference between redundancy and resiliancy although I mix them up from time to time. I bore family and friends who want to know what I do.... you can see the colour in their faces drain away. I'm a talker, a blagger, a scum-bag only interested in circumventing the drawn out route to riches to pay for an aesthetic materialistic dream rather than the life fulfilling dream I've been yearning for and I'm now at a connundrum. I have the same connundrum every few months and I always end up asking myself whether I want to invest or forget, invest or forget? I always invest but my pay fluctuates a little more than I'd like it to. The plan was to have the solid job and make films around it until I got paid enough to make the films or one of them broke through, if one brakes through then I would be set for life. Set in a high life for the rest of mine and enough time to do it again, and again and again. Set for my childs life, my parents life, my parent in law;s lives and my wive's life. SET FOR LIFE! how much time would you devote to getting that?
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